Now as I sit here and look at them, as I revel in the silent house with only the sound of the washing machine and the baby monitor, I feel towards them the way I have felt toward Isaac as his first birthday passed. Time is moving so quickly, days are slipping away. When I think of the special moments tainted by my attitude, conversations that lacked grace, chances to reach out when I simply retreated in- I suddenly feel like these young men will be gone so soon and I wish I could stop time. They are so much more than our family or friends...it's hard to put it into words. In some ways, they are our world.
This summer marks four years of living with teens. In that time I have had two children, lost one, and lived with 5 assistants and 16 teenagers. But more than the changing cast around me, I am a different character in this script of life. It's been an incredible grace-filled and humbling journey.
I don't know how to end this post so maybe I'll just stop. I guess I'm just trying to articulate that in life there are sudden moments of clarity, when dishes and laundry and mood swings seem like sorry excuses for not loving the people who matter so much.