Howdy. It's Friday again. Big weekend around here with birthday party Saturday and Super Bowl Sunday. Phew!
1. You know sometimes when you are in a really good book and something about a scene or a character reminds you of your life? I remember reading the memoir "Reading Lolita in Tehran" and there was a certain phrase about good-byes, saying good-bye not just to people or to a place but saying good-bye to who you were in that place- it spoke to me. That is my life, I thought.
I had a similar moment this week when I found this choice piece of literature that a little bird left for me in a book she borrowed:
That is my life. (And thanks, little bird.)
2. I'm terrible with numbers, have I mentioned that? Oh sure, I can do basic arithemetic. But when I try to remember numbers, it doesn't work. This means that every time I go to use my debit card it is a spiritual experience as I pray , "Lord- please help me to guess the right number." I have three pin numbers memorized- one is the old one, one is the current one, and one is the online banking one. I just don't ever remember which is which. And sometimes, when I have tried two and would just need to enter the third, I can't remember which two I have tried. It's pathetic.
Anways, you can imagine my elation this week when I was at an ATM and got the right number on the second try. Woo-hoo! I was stoked. Take that, insomnia! Take that, pregnancy-kills-brain-cells-rumor! Victory, sweet victory! I headed to the grocery store, floating on air. About 20 minutes later I got a call from the bank saying that I had left my ATM card in the ATM. Sheesh.
3. Thanks to some healthy peer pressure from a special group of friends, I started writing my novel again this week. I really want to finish it and complete the process- even if it is just for the process' sake. I was talking to my husband about this, talking about how energizing it is for me to write and how much I enjoy it. Then I felt the need to justify that being energized will inevitably bring life to other people that I serve. He stopped me in that thought and said, "It doesn't have to make you better for someone else. You can write because it makes you a better you- not a better mom or wife or friend." For some reason that thought has turned over and over in my head this week. I think in motherhood you begin to feel like all things in life must be pragmatic, leading you toward the goal of being a better mom or wife. (Thoughts like, If I get some time away, I will come back refreshed and a better mom.) But the truth is that I am made in God's image- not so that I can be a mom, or so that I can be a wife or friend or whatever. He created me as me to be me- and it is ok to pursue things that bring me life because of how He made me. I can be rested for me. I can do creative things for me. I can pursue things I am passionate about because it honors Him and honors how He made me. I do believe that as I am energized and creative it will spill over into those I love, but that isn't why I am doing it. Good thoughts for where I'm at right now.
4. So I'm writing again. This week I e-mailed my manuscript to myself so that I could load it on the Kindle and read through it when I was at our homeschool group (Side note: Why do I always think I am going to have spare time when I am there? It's like when you leave for an overnight trip and take four books- really? you're gonna read all those? Sheesh.) Anyways, I got the e-mail and downloaded the attachment. It opened as a word document, but then it reformatted suddenly to look like an actual e-book. And there was my book, looking like a real book! The whole moment kind of took my breath away. Maybe that's as close as it will ever get to actually being a real book, but it was still a really cool moment.
5. Last week I found Isaac crying and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Isaac replied, "Drew is going to turn seven and he'll be older than me!"
I calmed him down and said, "Drew is already older than you. He will always be older than you."
He began to cry again. "Why are you crying now?"
Isaac replied, "Drew is older than me!"
In other news, I'm thinking of taking my infant to a support group for babies who are addicted to their swaddle wraps. Any local groups?
On a related noted, I am also thinking of attending a support group for moms who are not sleeping well due to the fact that they are trying to break their infant of their addiction to the swaddle wrap. Sheesh.
Hope this Friday finds you doing something you love with someone you love. Or eating something you love. Or shopping for something that you love.
Those are good Fridays.
Welcome to February! Catch you later.