1. The weather is crazy but excellent. We wear sweatshirts on morning walks and then shed them around 10, only to put them back on early evening. Personally, I could live like this all summer. My kids, on the other hand, ask every day if we can pull out the kiddie pool and play in the sprinkler. So we'll see.
2. The kids just came running in, declaring that Tutu had caught a mouse. I poked out the door to find that it was either the world's largest mouse or a rabbit. This conversation followed:
Me: I think it's a rabbit.
Isaac: Awesome! Go, Tutu!
Amirah (7 year old neighbor in distress): Bad cat! Bad cat! Why would he do that to a rabbit?
Isaac: Guess he wants some bacon.
3. We planted tomatoes this week because the idea of a long fall with no salsa or grilled pizza was simply too much. Because it's late and I'm lazy, I bought the plants that were fairly mature with tomatoes hanging on them. Tessa must have sensed that this was not quite right, that the tomatoes should grow once that happy little plant has its roots in the ground, and happily picked the tomatoes during the car ride home. Thanks, Tess!
4. I'm tired. Whenever I say that to people, when I actually mouth it and sigh, they look at me and look behind me at my kids and say "Of course you're tired." And I get that. But this week, it's more than the leader-of-a-4-kid-circus tired. I'm tired from high-fiving my husband as he goes in and out the door, returning after bedtimes, swamped with work and weighed with responsibility. I'm tired from sitting at Village Inn with my kind friend and crying about the baby she lost, the baby she wanted, the baby I wanted for her. I'm tired from all the little words that are beginning to fill the calendar, squares that I thought would stay open and leave us a slow summer. I'm tired from a house that undoes itself. All that and more, more than I should really spew here on a quick 5. But I know that these times comes, come to me around every three or four months. And I've learned to keep going, to let myself be tired but to do the dishes and fold the laundry in the midst of it. I've learned to believe that even the tired can be beautiful if it is surrendered, that it's not a sin to be tired, that tired and patient can co-exist. I've learned not to make big decisions, not to delete my book or try to paint a room or add more to the schedule so that I won't have time to think about the ache of the tiredness. And so I'm here. And I'm tired. And I know that, in the end, it will all come out for good.
5. I've started reading Steinbeck, an author I really enjoy, and hope to make a dent in those books over the weekend. (By the way, no one replied that they make a summer reading list, so I'm going to assume that is a suburban legend, like meal planning and grocery lists and dusting. Yes, I did just coin the phrase 'suburban legend', and I'm digging it.)
The kids are outside all the time, in raptures over the hours of play with their beloved neighbors. I joked the other day that Tessa is going to grow up thinking that she is the youngest of seven, as she now yells all the kids' names when she needs something.
I won a giveaway of a book, which seems unlikely since I never enter giveaways and I don't really remember entering this one. But there is a book coming in the mail, so that's a win.
I'm making a pie, and that's a win, too. Other than that, we're plodding along and heading into the weekend.
I hope you are finding grace for the moments that are finding you.
Have a good one.